Gratitude for Brigid, Floodgates & Rage
Brigid is the Celtic goddess of abundance. She is traditionally honored on the Celtic cross-quarter feast of Imbolc - halfway between the Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox; now on February 1st.
A floodgate is the metaphor I’d used for years when describing the fear of being paralyzed if I unearthed a long-buried childhood trauma.
Rage, even the expression of mild anger, was forbidden in the household and schools in which I was reared.
The message was uncompromising:
Portray life as it “should” appear
Make everything look perfect
Don’t tell the truth about what’s really happening
Never let your feelings show
In spite of which, I’ve learned to trust that life is to be lived and not controlled.
When did I fully experience the memory of a trauma in early 2012 - it sent me into a rage.
That was a gift from my unconscious. After nearly half a century the floodgates were opened.
I had been blind to a toxic partnership – and the wounded little girl inside recognized what I did not. So she grabbed my attention - the appearance of that memory was her SOS to me.
Pretending life was “normal” and I was ‘fine’, became impossible.
In that rage, I reclaimed myself from the polite peace I had been maintaining by normalizing things to make the people around me comfortable.
Apparently, I’d wasted half a century fearing I would drown in a flood.
Oh, the liquid metaphor was correct, but it turns out that I was dying of thirst.
A thirst for the truth I couldn’t see. Now known, I could no longer allow for keeping up ‘perfect’ appearances and letting my head overrule my gut.
What came next was the reminder that the most important lesson distilled in my work ushering clients through the “Artist’s Way” journey, is that to recover an authentic, creative self, one needs to embrace anger; it is a friend.
Not a kind or gentle friend, but a loyal one. It is always truthful.
Another message is that the way in which we recover our authentic selves is one day, one step at a time. We learn what we must in our own time.
Our unconscious minds are to be trusted. That memory I’d feared and suppressed did not return until I was able to handle it. It is for that I am most grateful.
It came to me when I was personally able to handle it - in part because of the professional journey I was on.
I was immersed in an annual cycle of teaching the tools and creating the safe spaces in which I and others would embrace the work of discovering and recovering a better version of one’s self.
We regularly identify and challenge the layered expectations, socialization, and adaptive ways we shrink - and hold ourselves back.
That’s the first step. At the next level, we discover and practice how to shift our sense of perspective and set boundaries. We practice walking confidently while embracing an evolving and improved version of ourselves.
Lastly - we work to embrace what it takes to persevere - grounded safely in a willingness to commit to a cycle of regularly challenging ourselves.
Humbly we throw off any expectations or perfectionism and make a commitment to simply stay conscious and evolve.
And we do it scared!
Commitment, Competence, Confidence & Courage
Every time we humbly commit to being a beginner and, even fearfully, working toward a new skill or level of competence, we improve.
We gain confidence when we become more competent. Inevitably, when we’ve mastered that level - we decide that we want to keep going.
We’ve mustered - created - the courage to persevere.
So what’s all this got to do with creativity?
Well, the crowdsourced wisdom of Wikipedia defines it as a phenomenon whereby something new and somehow valuable is formed.
We form the courage we need.
Brigid, Gods & Blessings
I am often reminded of a catechism lesson from childhood: “Who made you? God made me, I was made in the image and likeness of God”.
Let’s embrace our creativity - arguably the power of a creator within us.
I’m particularly grateful that the gods and goddesses described by Pagans, Christians, Jews, other religions & indigenous cultures are consistent in their message -
Choose life! Trust abundance.
As Brigid’s Day approaches a decade on from that fateful January I am reminded -
The gods of our ancestors raged. One even sent a flood.
An abundant flood of anger is empowering.
And it is a blessing that I have been sustained to reach this understanding.
To join our conversation about Commitment, Competence, Confidence & Courage - join us here.
An earlier version of this post appeared in February 2012
Brigid’s Fire, by Courtney Davis
Our featured photo is from the 2022 Herstory Light Show in celebration of Brigid’s Day.
The images were designed by the Irish Second-Level Students’ Union.
The project - STUDENT POWER is designed to amplify #StudentVoices and spotlight the causes close to their hearts: climate action, girls’ education, mental health, racism, migrants’ rights, preserving indigenous cultures, & more. Never before in history have young people risen up together on this scale across the world. Power to students as they lead the light!
